Game day, especially here on The Plains, is full of unpredictable variables.

Auburn football is like the weather in Alabama: you never know what you’re gonna get. However, no matter which Auburn team shows up, you’re bound to see the same types of fans.

The Seat Savers

Seat savers are loyal to their friends but not to the Auburn family. They’re the first in line and wait for hours to reserve an entire row, or six, for their closest 150 friends. Don’t get too excited when you see row after row without a trace of humanity. If the seats aren’t directly under the jumbotron or in an obscure corner, assume they’re are all saved.

The Mic Man Haters

In life, there are three absolutes: death, taxes, and mic man haters. It doesn’t matter who the mic man is or what cheers he yells, people are going to be critical. Some complain more about the mic man than the opposing team or refs. Others will go so far as to mold into “Mic Man Impersonators,” leading their own contrasting cheers as a form of protest.

The Optimists

These fans believe in Auburn and love it. Did I mention they believe in Auburn? No matter how much the odds are against us, they adamantly claim the team can still pull out the win. If you start to fade into skepticism, they’ll bring up the multiple miracles Auburn has experienced, which are valid points. Somehow, they manage to never give up hope, and it’s nice to rely on them to stay the whole game. 

The Pessimists

Contrasting the hopeful, these fans stopped believing in Auburn a long time ago. It’s not that they don’t love their university, they just lack faith. The entirety of the game is filled with their mumblings. There’s almost no chance they’ll still be around by the 3rd quarter and even slimmer that they’ll make it to the Alma Mater- in fact, they probably don’t even know we have one. They’re quick to bring morale down and put everyone around them in a bad mood.

The Ones with FOMO

Do they care about football? Absolutely not. Are they going to the game and staying for the entirety? Naturally. It’s the social thing to do, so they’ll be there, chatting your ear off the whole game about anything but football. Their game awareness will be low, but their Snapchat and Instagram will portray them as great fans.

The Shaker Collectors

Typically, a person only needs one shaker. Yet, some will try to collect every shaker in the stadium. Why? What do they do with them? Your guess is as good as mine. But they’ll leave the stadium with enough for a small country. Additionally, they’ll end up tasking you to help with their collection. If there’s a shaker at your feet or 17 people over, they’ll want you to hand it to them.

The Aspiring Jumbotron Stars

This bunch want nothing more than to appear on the jumbotron. Somehow, they usually get lucky and make multiple cameos throughout the game. Their creativity varies. Some will smile awkwardly, others will scream, more will point, and the brave few will break out their dance moves. Making the big screen will be the highlight of their week. And they’ll be sure to ask everyone if they saw their big debut.

The Alpha Fans

In-your-face and possessing complete Auburn football knowledge is the alpha fan. Expect stats all the way from 1892 and random facts about every member of the team from the quarterback to the athletic trainers. They’re missing their calling to be a coach —or at least they sure think they are. The calls are never up to their standard —by the coaching staff or the refs— and they want to make sure that everyone around knows it. We haven’t even touched on their emotional attachment to Auburn football. Their mood throughout fall is dependent on the Tigers’ success. Think of the fans who become memes, and you’ve got this group.

Next time you’re at a game, you won’t have to look far to find these characters. In fact, many of them will be personified through the friends you bring or maybe even yourself. We can all get a good laugh at their antics, but at the end of the day, they are all a part of the Auburn family.

Be well, Auburn.

Photography: Jack P.