My life is ANYTHING but ordinary.

I have a disability that hinders every aspect of my life, I’ve encountered countless hardships, and learned more life lessons than I know what to do with. I may have a semi-tough life, but nothing could’ve prepared me for my second semester of college.

During spring break, I had a doctor’s appointment. Little did I know it’d change my life forever. My doctor examined my thyroid and was worried with how swollen it felt. This led to the oh-so-fun blood tests. One thing a doctor checks for within the thyroid is the TSH level,  the thyroid-stimulating hormone. Typically, these levels fall between 0.4 and 4.0 mU/L.  Mine was a 40 mU/L, meaning I had a highly underactive thyroid, also known as hypothyroidism. There is a list of typical symptoms, but the main one I experienced was extreme fatigue. I was always tired. It was a challenge to pay attention in class, spend time with friends, and enjoy life. Sleep controlled my entire life.

The blood test results raised a concern in both my family and doctors. The next step was to get an ultrasound to see if I had nodules on my thyroid. Let me tell you, having someone putting a funky smelling gel and pressing a machine on your swollen throat isn’t the best experience. The images revealed I had a reasonably-sized nodule on my thyroid. At this point, I was petrified.

My life was put on hold for the next two months. I was missing most of my classes, couldn’t work the job I loved, and wasn’t in charge of my schedule. Instead of controlling my life, it controlled me. Each week I had to do a grueling three and a half hour drive home for numerous appointments. I was completely worn out, to say the least.

The next step of treatment was to get a biopsy, the most painful thing I’ve ever done. I was instructed to take anxiety medication right before the procedure before to keep myself calm. Having someone stick needles in my neck while I’m awake was a scary thought for me. Just as it was terrifying to think about, it was terrifying to go through. A few weeks later, we got the results. Thankfully, the nodule wasn’t cancerous. Instead, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease known as Hashimoto’s disease.

Being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s has improved my life substantially. Since middle school, I’ve been extremely fatigued every day and thought it was normal. Doctors would always say it was a part of growing up, but my mom and I didn’t think so. Now, I’m able to take Synthroid which helps give me the energy I need to get through each day.

There are many valuable life lessons I learned from this whirlwind of an experience. Whether you’re living your everyday routine or facing a similar situation to mine, here are a few tips to help you get through life.

You can’t control your situation, but you can control your thoughts and emotions

Fun fact: I’m a control freak and perfectionist. Having to take the back seat in my own life was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I thought it was my job to fix the situation, which is unrealistic because I’m not even a doctor. After about a month of stress and confusion, I realized that the only part of my situation I could control was my outlook. My situation became easier once I changed my attitude.

My sickness wasn’t my fault

As ridiculous as this sounds, self-blame is a problem I’ve been struggling with for years. In no way am I responsible for a disease I’ve unknowingly had for years, but my mind would always find a way to pin it on myself. Those thoughts would creep into my head and make me feel useless, weak, and alone. When I was having my biopsy, it was like a switch flipped in my head. I realized I’m not the cause of my problems. Having a cancer scare didn’t make me weak, it made me strong. My life and experiences shape me into the person I am today. I should be grateful for my hard times rather than blaming myself for them.

Family and friends mean everything

The one thing I desperately needed during this experience was a strong support system. Without my friends and family, I probably wouldn’t have been able to make it through the semester. Loneliness is the one thing that consumes me when I’m going through a tough time. Instead of seeking support, I isolate myself. I needed someone to snap me back to reality. Going through trials and tribulations didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the beauties of life, I just needed someone to remind me of them.

Nothing can stand in your way

If there’s one thing to take away, it’s this: I’m stronger than I ever knew I could be. I thought I was going to have to medically withdraw because I wasn’t strong enough to handle the pressure of school on top of my sickness. I accepted the fact that I wasn’t smart enough to do it. Want to know something? I finished that semester on the dean’s list.

Life is a never-ending series of surprises. How you react to those surprises is up to you. My thyroid cancer scare showed me that I can make it through anything. I went through countless doctor appointments, was never able to go to class, and had to stop working at the place I loved most. Guess what? Life always gets better, it’s just hard to see it at your lowest. You learn so much about yourself and the world around you in your darkest times. Take that as a win.

Be positive and…

Be well, Auburn

Photography: Ashleigh H.