When I was a freshman in high school, I was diagnosed with a mild form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Most people have heard of OCD, but not many know what it really entails. OCD is not about having a clean room or appreciating an organized drawer, but a more serious condition in which one feels bound to certain obsessions and compulsions. The DSM-5, the most recent edition of the mental health standard, explains that “the obsessions or compulsions are time-consuming … or cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.” While many cases of OCD do revolve around cleanliness, this is not true for all.

In my case, I was very particular about my room and felt the need to keep it clean in order to feel safe. I know, it sounds weird and irrational, but after all, it is a disorder. I could not function throughout the day unless my room was in pristine condition and cleaned in a certain order.

I have always been very artistic and creative. Therefore, OCD really warped my personality and my interests, drawing me away from appreciating art and the unexpected. Instead, it made me afraid of anything out of order, meaning I missed out on so many things I used to enjoy.

Then, one day during my sophomore year, I found several old magazines in the basement of my parents’ house and had an idea. I found some glue and old scrapbooking paper and got to work. The collages I made that day are still hanging in my old bedroom today.

Ever since then, collaging has been an incredible outlet for me to release stress and let my creativity flow. There are no rules and no right or wrong way to do it. Collaging helped me embrace the mess – flipping through magazines, cutting and tearing snips of paper, spilling mod podge, and letting the creative process happen without judging the steps along the way. It is so satisfying to finish a collage and know that I created something that didn’t exist until my hands worked on it.

While I’m not fully over my OCD, it is so much better, and I know that I owe the beginnings of my healing process to collaging. I’m thankful for the ability to let go, to be creative, and to turn fears into challenges that I can overcome.

If you are struggling, contact Auburn Student Counseling & Psychological Services at (334) 844-5123.

Be well, Auburn.

Photography: Jacob H.