What If...
Life is uncertain. Whether we like it or not, we can’t know the future or even people’s truest intentions.
All it takes is one trigger to send me into a state of paranoia and uneasiness, like most people with anxiety. Once the thoughts start to overpower your mind, you suddenly drift off into your own world of “what ifs.”
Trust me, I’ve been there countless times. The numbness of your brain can get the best of you, but guess what? I’m here to pull you out of it. Here are some of my reminders for different types of “what if” questions.
What if my friends don’t like me?
First off, STOP IT! If your friends didn’t like you, they wouldn’t be texting you or hanging out with you. If you need the extra support and reassurance, reach out to them and let them know how you are feeling! No one can read your mind (no matter how much you wish they could.)
Secondly, sometimes people aren’t always what we expect them to be. If you’re starting to see a shift between you and your friends, try to understand where it came from. For this to happen, you need to speak up! Just know one thing: your worth doesn’t come from the people you hang out with. Please remember that.
What if I’m not good enough?
YOU ARE! Don’t ever question your worth because of a situation you can’t control. If you get a bad grade or experience a tragic breakup, know not all of it falls on you. You did the best you could, and even if you made a mistake, you learn from it. Life is full of ups and downs.
When I had these thoughts, it was after I went through a horrible, unexpected breakup. Know something: you have to learn how to love yourself. Self-love and confidence help you understand that situations say nothing about your character or core values. Don’t blame all of the bad on yourself. There’s more than one thing that contributes to a mistake or failed relationship.
What if I never find happiness?
Anxiety and depression are powerful. They can close your mind off from the big picture. We run a fine line between sadness and happiness. We will never be fully sad or fully happy for our whole lives. Instead, we float between them. Remember this in the sadness. It won’t be like this forever; you will find your happiness again.
I struggle with this thought almost daily. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this, it’s straight from the song “Fine Line” by Harry Styles (aka the love of my life). Want to know something? I recently got a tattoo on my arm to battle these irrational anxieties. It’s the last line from Harry’s song written in his handwriting saying “We’ll be alright.” Remind yourself that you will be okay even in the storm. But seriously, stream Harry Styles’ song “Fine Line.” Listen to the lyrics and understand his message. Let me tell you, it’s powerful.
What if I don’t get the job?
Don’t stress about a situation you can’t control. You did your best in the interview, and all you can do is wait. If you don’t get it, it wasn’t meant to be. There are many jobs out there, focus on your happiness over the stress of the uncontrollable future. Keep searching for your purpose.
What if I lose everything?
Loss is part of life. It’s not fun, but it’s inevitable. Now, will you lose “everything” all at once? No. Even if you lose an important person or job position, know you will be okay. Will it hurt for a while? Absolutely, and you need you to let yourself feel that loss. Realize that to make it through your troubles you need to be self-assured. If all else fails, remember you have people that care about you. You won’t go through anything alone, trust me.
The “what ifs” of life aren’t an easy obstacle for anyone. Being a veteran of these unfortunate events, I know how you feel. When you’re in that mindset, you need someone to remind you of reality. I really hope my thoughts help you. If not, please reach out to Auburn Student Counseling & Psychological Services.
Know that you’re worth it and…
Be well, Auburn.
Photography: Abbey C.
Copy Editor
Born and raised in Huntsville, Alabama, Abbey is an icee and horror movie addict just trying to major in visual journalism. She loves music, photography, and possibly every type of dog that exists. When she isn’t at work or class, you can find her binge watching The Office, eating Mexican food, laughing at her own jokes, or at a local trivia night.
If Abbey is ever up before nine in the morning, she didn’t fall asleep the night before. Her favorite ways to stay active are playing volleyball, running away from her problems, and walking The Rec’s track with her friends. Her dream is to become a photographer and writer for a major magazine or newspaper.
